| Missing Mama..... |
| In everyone's life there comes a point when you lose one or both of your parents or someone else very close to your heart....it doesn't matter how old or young you are when it happens, you never quite get "over" the loss....I'm missing my Mama.... |
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| I guess you're wondering why I am writing about my Mother...but sometimes it really helps to write down the things that are on your mind at any given time.... I actually wrote a whole lot about her and my feelings for her in my journal...but rather than get all overly deep and sentimental I thought I'd just tell you some of the things about her that meant so much to me...... My mom was my best buddy....there's no other way to describe our relationship....see, I grew up the only girl with three kooky brothers...so in our household, it was me and mom against the guys....lol...... My mom had 13 brothers and sisters...she was the oldest girl...second oldest child....I guess you could say she was the really "responsible" one, because her mother passed on when she was only 21 and her youngest brother was 18 months old.... |
| Mama modeling at a fashion show age 33 |
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| I think one of the things that stands out most in my mind about my relationship with my mother was sharing my time with her not only with my brothers and father, but with all my aunts and uncles....it's not that it wasn't fun...of course being raised in a huge family environment I thought everyone had a zillion relatives over all the time....naw....what used to amaze me was how giving and kind she was to all of us....and how each one of us felt we were the only person she was concentrating on at any given time.....I call this skill a gift from the heart...and thankfully...I've inherited it!! |
| Mama age 21 |
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| Pooh age 31 |
| When I had my daughter Shawna, better known to me (and now YOU) as Pooh, I was amazed at how much she resembled my mother...lol...and the older I get I am amazed at how much EYE resemble my mother!!...lol I remember arguing with people when they would tell me I'm gonna look JUST like my mom when I grew up....now I see what they were looking at... and I'm proud to say I am so very happy about it... |
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| daez age 51 |
| There are certain times in every womans life when she finally realizes she has turned INTO her mom and appreciates all the wonderful qualities that have been unconsciously instilled in her....I've been having my epiphany for the last 10 years...and each year it gets stronger.... I know that the reason I am as strong as I am is because my mother instilled strength in me...I know my faith is as strong as it is because I followed the path my mother laid out for me....I know I love so unfailingly because that is what I was raised with..... These things and a zillion others are what makes me daez....my darling mother made me daez....and knowing that my biggest cheerleader and fan is no longer with me is often very hard to take.... The thing that gives me so much strength in times like this is KNOWING I never disappointed her in my life's choices....and KNOWING I never left her sight or hung up the phone without saying "I love you".... My daughter and I have continued this tradition...we speak to each other several times a day, even though she has moved to Oklahoma now....we never hang up the phone without saying "I love you"...we are each other's greatest cheerleaderand biggest fan...and prayerfully she will continue this tradition with HER darling daughter.... |
| So this page is simply a tribute to my Mother...Ruth Jeanette Jackson....no it's not the anniversary of her passing....it's not Mother's Day or any other day except one where I am missing Mama...I often laugh to myself when thinking of her, because I know she would have attempted to wear locs in her hair....lol...she would have loved mine and cheered me on as I went thru all the crazy things I have done to and with them...and for this I give all thanks the God and all honor to my Mama...and Mama...I LOVE You!..... |
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| Mama |
| 1926 - 1997 |
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| Thank you God for giving me another day of life....AMEN..... |